more

I had a sort of epiphany yesterday.  Well, really, it's been dawning on me over the last few weeks, but yesterday it really became clear.

All I need is more Jesus.

When I get so frustrated, impatient and at the end of my rope with the kids, I think "Oh if I could only get some alone time!  That would solve my frustrations with them."  I've tried it.  I'm gone an hour and I miss them.  All I really need is more Jesus.

When I am so exhausted from cleaning and cooking and planning and re-cleaning what I already cleaned 5 minutes ago and not sleeping through the night yet again, I think, "Oh if only I could just get one entire day alone in bed, sleeping leisurely as I please ... then I would feel better."  No.  All I need is more Jesus.

When I think I need new bath towels to match the new paint in the bathroom, or when I think I need new bed sheets, or a new dining room table.  I realized that all I really need is more Jesus.

When I miss my husband so much during the day while he's at work, I think, "We need to get away, just the two of us!  That would be fantastic!"  Yes, it would be great, but really, I just need more Jesus.

You see, Jesus gives me His patience when I have none.  He, supernaturally, gives me physical strength when I'm tired beyond belief.  He opens my eyes to see how much I do have and fills my heart with gratitude.  Jesus is my all-in-all, the satisfier of my heart and soul, not my husband (who I love dearly, and dearly loves me).

There is none other, no not one.  The ultimate sacrificial lamb.