wisconskin

We made it safely back from our family vacation of 2013 in Eagle River, Wisconsin (or "Wisconskin" as Seth would say).  We had a wonderful, wonderful time!  This is a vacation that my parents, brothers and I would make every summer growing up as kids - back to the same lake where my mom grew up in northern Wisconsin - so it was really awesome to be able to share that part of my life with my husband and kids.  Here's a little recap:

Travel
The kids did a great job on the plane, there and back.  I was so impressed.  We packed Seth a little backpack full of new toys he's never seen before and added new apps onto the iPad for him ... he was well occupied!  Olivia is a happy girl in general, but she also slept on each flight, and we passed her along between Jack, myself and my parents and brothers.  The 4-hour car ride once we landed in Madison, though, was another story.  I could totally understand the kids were ready to get up and run around for awhile, but we had to get to the lodge.  The last hour or so of the drive consisted of me, Joel and Carlee (Joel's wonderful and amazing girlfriend) singing "Father Abraham" - with all the hand motions - and every other Sunday School song we could think of just to keep the kids' screams at bay. Haha.  I'm sure we looked ridiculous.  


Family
Even though we live only two hours away from my parents, we rarely get to see each other, so this week was nice just to be with them.  It was so wonderful to get to spend time with almost all of my aunts, uncles and cousins from that side of the family too.  We used to all get together like this every single summer growing up, but once we moved to California when I was 14, we went back once.  So we really haven't had much time with our extended family like this since around 2000.  Now all of us cousins are older, some of us married and with kids.  It's a whole new dimension and it's wonderful.  My cousin, Brian, has a 3-year-old daughter, Mina, who played so well with Seth while they were there.  It was adorable seeing them together.  And it reminded me of my second-cousin, Duste, who was my same age and who I rarely got to see, but when we did, we were best friends.  It was also a blessing to introduce Olivia to everyone.  My grandpa from this side of the family went by his nickname, "Red", because of his red hair.  His hair color was passed on to me and a few of my cousins, and now onto Olivia.  Such a joy to be able to pass the rare trait into another generation!  I was reminded of what a great family we have.  We are so silly, sarcastic and fun, yet can be very serious, Godly and emotional.  There were a few moments during our time there that I was struck with just an overwhelming feeling of love for my family and a feeling of being so blessed to be called a Keller(-Hull-Osorno).

The Lodge
The lodge we stayed at is actually the very house my mom grew up in!  Even though her parents sold it over 40 years ago, we're still able to rent it out for this one week each summer.  It's a huge house with lots of bedrooms, a large kitchen and a huge dining and living space.  Perfect for everyone who was there.  Seth and Olivia absolutely loved all the open space to roam and explore.  Outside, there's a grass area leading down to the lake and dock.  Both kids loved going down there as well.  Seth is still talking about the lodge with fond memories.

Activities
My uncles all have boats and jet skis so we spent parts of each day out in the water boating, water skiing, jet skiing, and fishing.  Joel, Max, Carlee, Jack and my dad went out with my Uncle Mark two mornings and brought back some great fishing memories and a few fish large enough to fry up and eat.  It seriously brought me so much joy for Jack to be able to do this.  He's never had the chance to fish before, let along catch something, learn how to skin it, fry it up and eat it.  It was also his first time tubing and water skiing.  It seems weird, but it really blessed me to be able to give him these opportunities and to do things that I grew up doing.  I thought Seth would be addicted to riding in the boats, but quite the opposite.  I had to force him to go.  Ha.  That's his personality though.  Once he was on the boat for awhile he warmed up quite a bit.  He even drove the boat with Uncle Jed a few times - and he fell asleep at the wheel in Jed's arms.  It was precious.  Olivia on the other hand LOVED the boat.  She loved to stand as tall as she could get and have the wind whip her in her face.  Not one ounce of fear in that girl!  We were also constantly playing games - card games, pool, jarts, "dingleberry toss", concentration, trivial persuit, telephone pictionary - you name it.  So much fun!  There was one night that we went into downtown Eagle River for dinner, to walk around the shops and enjoy the live music and street dance.  Such a cute town!  And, of course, I got the kids their own Minnetonka moccasins to remember our time there (there's a large Native American presence in the northern midwest).  One unfortunate activity we had to make was to the E.R. for Olivia.  She had not been sleeping well the first few days there, but I just thought it was because we were in a new place with new sounds.  But after three whole nights of Jack and I getting maybe 4 hours of sleep ... we took her in and sure enough her ears were pretty inflamed.  She was sleeping a little better the rest of the week, but not fantastic at all.  Honestly, Jack and I were exhausted ... and cranky ... but we had enough help that we were still able to enjoy our time.

It really was a great vacation.  One that we'd love to do again one day.

Carlee, Joel, Mom and me out boating 

Boating together

Seth's first fish!

Swimming with Papa!

Seth and his second cousin, Mina

Olivia loving the boat

At the E.R. with an ear infection :(

Seth and Olivia loving the pool table

Max water skiing

Falling asleep at the wheel of the boat

Loving the boat with Uncle Jed

Almost the whole family:
Carlee, Joel, Uncle Joel, Uncle Corbin, Kyle
Dad, Max, Cali
Uncle Mark, Mom, Me, Olivia, Seth, Jack and Uncle Jed

salt painting

Remember when I said that Seth is obsessed with painting?  Well, I found a great idea of a variation of painting called salt painting.  We did it last week and Seth LOVED it.

Salt Painting:

1} Take a piece of clear contact paper, sticky side up, and lay it on your table.

2} Sprinkle table salt all over the contact paper - the more salt, the better.

3} Using a pipette, suck up really wet watercolors and squirt onto the salt.

4} Watch it spread!

The finished product is actually really stunning.  My only problem with this project is what to do with it after you're done.  Because it turned out so cool, I thought I would let it dry and try putting another piece of contact paper over the top and frame it.  Ha.  That was a joke.  Not only did it take days to dry, it just fell right off of the contact paper when I tried to move it.  So, this is more of an experiment with paint than an actual piece of artwork, but fun nonetheless.  

we went to the beach

As part of Jack's birthday celebration, we went to the beach in Pacifica on Thursday.  It was so much fun!  Seth gathered many, many, many, many shells {and then buried them all}, and Olivia had a hay-day crawling around and eating sand.  Then, after about two hours, they both melted down and had enough.  Seth got terrified of the high-tide waves coming so close and Olivia was ready for a nap.  So, minus the frantic crying at the end, we had a fantastic time.  

happy birthday, jack!

Jack's birthday was on Thursday {the big 3-5!}.  He celebrated by taking the day off of work and spending some much-needed family time with me and the kids.  We started with his all-time favorite breakfast: Chick-fil-a {we went in our pjs!}, then onto an afternoon at the beach, and ending with an authentic taco dinner and cake-eating at his parent's house.  It was an absolutely wonderful time!  Happy birthday, Jackson!  We love you!!!  You're only getting more wonderful with age.  :)

did i ever tell you ...

... that my son absolutely loves to paint?  Because he does.  All the time, anytime.  Inside, or outside.  Using paint brushes, his fingers, feathers, leaves or Hot Wheel car wheels.  On paper, rocks, and boxes.   It's a constant request of his.  And I don't mind it a bit. :)

parenting class: week one

On Sunday, Jack and I attended the first class of a four-week series on Biblical Parenting, put on by a married couple, Steve and Joan, at our church.  It was fantastic. On multiple occasions I found myself tearing up ... not quite sure why, but I guess just that I care so much to be a good mom, not in this world's eyes, but in God's, and I see that I am failing in many ways.  But I'm also so excited to start getting more things right.  

The information they gave us was so great that I wanted to share it all, but more than that, I wanted to retell it so that it might sink in even deeper into my heart and mind.  

.. .. ..

Starting off, we need to remember what God says about His Word: "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness..." (2 Timothy 3:16).  With this understanding, we know that everything within the Bible is not only spoken by God Himself, but it's beneficial to use as a manual for raising our children (teaching them, rebuking them, correcting them, training them).  We need to run to His Word for help raising our children.  In Hebrews 4:12 God reinforces the importance of His Word: "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." God's Word is alive, it's real, it's active to us today as parents.

Here's a question for you:  What would you want your kids to leave home with when they turn 18 and go off to college?

a} A Division I athletic scholarship

b} A high IQ

c} To be popular

d} Strong character and faith

I think everyone would answer {d}, to be a person with strong character and strong faith in Jesus Christ.  Now, let's rephrase the question: Where does most of your time, energy and money go to in raising your children?

a} Sports

b} Education

c} Social activities

d} Teaching and building your child's faith

It's rather convicting when you think about it and are honest with yourself.  Where are my real priorities in parenthood?  No matter where I want them to be, I need to be realistic with where they actually are.  But no matter how old my children are, there's always time to make changes and readjust my priorities to where they should be.  God shares His will to parents in Deuteronomy 6:5-7: 

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." 

The biblical purpose for parenting is to impress the hearts of our children with a love for God and to help them get safely home to their Father in heaven.  You see, the love of the Lord needs to be in my heart for my kids to see it.  What do my kids see me doing?  Do they see me watching TV?  Or do they see me reading my Bible?  Do they catch me on my knees praying?  God's Word needs to be affecting my life in order for my children to see it.

It's so easy to delegate parts of parenting off on other people.  There's a coach to teach my kids soccer, and a tutor to help them with their math.  While it is helpful to delegate some things for other people to teach my children, I need to own the piece that will impress the heart of my child.  Delegation is like giving your child supplements and vitamins.  While helpful in small doses, you cannot live on supplements alone. It is at home where I need to feed my children their meals.  They need meat.  They need vegetables.  They need their parents to give them that.  

In the verse above, God commands the parents to teach their children God's word.  But how? As recorded in Joshua 4:1-6, the Isrealites had finally crossed over the Jordan River into the land God promised to them.  When they made it to the other side, God had them erect stones on the land so that they would remember where they were before (slaves in Egypt), and how God had preserved them and brought them into safety.  Specifically, God says this "that this might be a sign among you.  When your children ask in time to come, 'What do those stones mean to you?'".  God wanted them to leave a physical reminder so that the generations to come will know of Him.  Practically, this could mean sitting down having family devotions.  Taking time to remember God as a family.  A great tool is using the FLA {Facts, Lessons, Application} Format.  You could simply read a few verses and ask {taking Joshua 4:1-6 as an example}: 

- What are the facts? {They cross the Jordan River.  They brought the Ark of the Lord with them.  They had to find 12 rocks.}  

- What is the lesson? {God wants us to remember Him.  God protects us.  God doesn't forget us.}

- How can we apply this to our lives? {Acknowledge what God has done for me and thank him for it.  Teach other people in my life about God.}

For those with younger children, a great idea would be to take a walk and find some rocks at a park, pick them up and say, "These rocks will remind us to pray.  Whenever we see these rocks, let's pray and thank God for this day together and for giving us beautiful trees and birds."  Then take those rocks home, set them in your child's bedroom and occasionally bring them to your child's memory to pray.

Another great tool for family worship and devotional time is an activity.  Here's an idea:  

Give each child a tube of travel toothpaste and have them race to see who empties the tube the fastest onto a paper plate.  Watch them go for it and determine a winner.  Then tell them that whoever can get all of the toothpaste back into the tube will win $10 {or whatever incentive will work for them}.  Have the fun of watching them try, but we all know that once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it can't go back in, no matter how hard you try.  The point to this activity is this:  Just like toothpaste is so easy to get out but impossible to get back in, so are our words.  They are easily said, but can never be taken back.  This can be applied to text messages, Facebook and Twitter posts, etc.  What a great tangible visualization of the effects of sharing our thoughts outwardly (Other great ideas can be found at visionaryfam.com and famtime.com).

Going back to the verse in Deuteronomy, God specifically commands parents to teach their children at four different times: 

1} When you get up: First thing in the morning, it is so important to seek the Lord.  Submitting your day to the Lord, getting your mind on Him from the start.  Practically this could mean reading the Word together at the breakfast table.

2} When you lie down:  Just before bed, giving everything up to the Lord - all the cares and worries from the day.  Most people, children especially, have their walls down at night.  They are most apt to share at this time.  So take advantage and talk with them, pray with them.

3} When you sit:  What dominates me at home when I sit?  TV?  iPad?  Unfortunately it's usually entertainment.  But God says that this is an important time to share His Word with my children.  It could be as simple as asking wondering questions of God, "I wonder how God could have been so creative in making every living creature.  Look at that bug!  How did God even come up with that?!"

4} When you walk: We don't walk as much in our culture, but this could mean while driving in a car.  Instead of listening to music or sitting in silence, use the time to share God's heart with your children.  Or while walking around the mall with your son, direct his attention to certain girls around the mall, asking him, "Do you think she's a Proverbs 31 woman?"  {Proverbs 31 is a chapter speaking solely of the traits of a Godly woman.}  "I don't think so, Mom, not by what she's wearing would I think she's a Proverbs 31 woman." "What about her?" "No, not by the way she's letting her boyfriend touch her."

Even if your children are grown, there is still time to be a Godly parent.  In Joel 2:25 God promises, "I will restore to you the years the swarming locust has eaten."  He will give you back the years you wasted with your children, the years you didn't teach your children His Word. So don't give up, but be encouraged to start now.

art + science

I found a great project to do with Seth this week that mixes his love of art (mixing colors) and the wonderful world of chemical reactions (baking soda & vinegar).  It was a hit!  He played with this for over an hour yesterday and it was his first requested activity this morning.  

Here's what you do:

-Fill a pyrex dish with baking soda, about 1/4" deep

-In separate containers, tint vinegar with food coloring

-Using a pipette, suck up the vinegar and squirt into the baking soda to see the fizzy reaction!  

Its also a great project since it's taught Seth how to use a pipette.  I think I'm going to need to buy a lifetime supply of baking soda ... this is going to be an everyday activity now!

90 degrees in may

Today we went swimming because it's a ridiculously and wonderfully hot 92 degrees here in the Bay.  It was Olivia's first time in the pool, sporting my old lavender bathing suit from when I was a baby!  She loved the water and did great in it.

from shoreline park to nineveh

Mondays are usually my no-shower-and-look-like-a-scrub day, filled with lots of laundry and cleaning. So in between loads and naps today {you have to time these things quite carefully!}, I decided to take the kids down to Shoreline Park Reserve so that I could get in some exercise {since I'm already a mess}, and to let them enjoy the great outdoors as well. 
There's a small boat that they've brought ashore and turned into a playground, with a moat of sand all around it.  We stopped there to have a picnic lunch and play.  Seth jumped out of the stroller and darted onto the boat.  After a few minutes, he yells, 

 "I'm going to Nineveh!" {The town where God asked Jonah the prophet to go.}
"Oh, really, Seth?" 
"Yes.  I'm going to tell the people to stop doing bad things and Jesus will forgive them."  

Oh, it was a delightful morning!

more

I had a sort of epiphany yesterday.  Well, really, it's been dawning on me over the last few weeks, but yesterday it really became clear.

All I need is more Jesus.

When I get so frustrated, impatient and at the end of my rope with the kids, I think "Oh if I could only get some alone time!  That would solve my frustrations with them."  I've tried it.  I'm gone an hour and I miss them.  All I really need is more Jesus.

When I am so exhausted from cleaning and cooking and planning and re-cleaning what I already cleaned 5 minutes ago and not sleeping through the night yet again, I think, "Oh if only I could just get one entire day alone in bed, sleeping leisurely as I please ... then I would feel better."  No.  All I need is more Jesus.

When I think I need new bath towels to match the new paint in the bathroom, or when I think I need new bed sheets, or a new dining room table.  I realized that all I really need is more Jesus.

When I miss my husband so much during the day while he's at work, I think, "We need to get away, just the two of us!  That would be fantastic!"  Yes, it would be great, but really, I just need more Jesus.

You see, Jesus gives me His patience when I have none.  He, supernaturally, gives me physical strength when I'm tired beyond belief.  He opens my eyes to see how much I do have and fills my heart with gratitude.  Jesus is my all-in-all, the satisfier of my heart and soul, not my husband (who I love dearly, and dearly loves me).

There is none other, no not one.  The ultimate sacrificial lamb.

a 6 month birthday

(Olivia wearing my bathing suit from when I was a baby!)

Yesterday our dear Olivia turned 6 months old!  And within a 48-hour span surrounding her 6-month birthday, quite a few things have happened:

-her first tooth came in
-she started to sit-up
-and this:

my little big boy

I can't believe how much a little person can change.  Seth is easily become my best bud.  We share in laughs, cries, and amusement of Olivia's baby noises.  Seth's language has matured so much over the last month ... each word is more distinct and clear, and his use of vocabulary is amazing!  Some of my favorite phrases from the past few weeks:

When I started cleaning up a mess: "Don't worry, Mommy, don't worry."
Out in the backyard when I bent down to pull some weeds : "No, let me do that, let me."
Singing, "The B-I-I-BBBLLL tells me sooooooo!"
To my dad, "Hey John, come with me."
When he wanted me to go play with him: "Put down your phone!"  Ouch.
Me tossing a pillow onto the couch: "No throwing, Mama!"

I'm sure there are plenty more good ones, but I just can't remember them all.  He can be a hoot sometimes!  His sister absolutely adores him.  She will search the room for him and once she lies on him, gives the HUGEST grin.  She loves it when he pays her attention.  And she thinks it's quite hilarious when he starts crying hysterically ... biggest smiles ever when that happens.  

About 2 or 3 months ago, Seth decided to become potty-trained.  It was totally on his own doing and it's been fairly smooth sailing since.  Of course a few accidents here and there, but nothing major.  We're so proud of him!

His favorite activities right now include reading books (over and over ... he's on a Dr. Suess kick right now too), wrestling with and diving into the pillows on the couch, going "fishing" (a magnet at the end of a string and homemade magnet-able fish), playing on his racetrack that we created on the floor in his room using masking tape.  He's also on a Bob the Builder and Thomas the Tank Engine kick at the moment, and the thing that he loves most of all: playing in the backyard.  He is an absolute DISASTER when he comes in, but that's his quiet, alone time and I wouldn't dare take that away from him.  

Love my little Seth!

olivia, oh, olivia

I started blogging for Seth.  It was a fun way to share photos and his development with my friends and family far away.  When people ask me, "How old was Seth when he started sitting up?  When he got his first tooth?  When he started talking?" ... I seriously look back on this blog to remember.  I kept such good track of his developments and changes.

Not so with little Miss Olivia.  

Poor girl, I simply have not had the time or energy.  And since we've moved our office to the back room of the house, it makes me even more unlikely to go back there and plug away. So here's one post to make up for the four months of none.  Let's rewind ...

days old

 

The first few days of her sweet life.  In the hospital when I was having a tough time recovering, she was a joy (ok - forget the picture of her being fussy, she really was fantastic).  And it's stayed that way.  She's been so mellow, so joyful, so happy, just so precious.  There's just a sweetness about her.

1 month old

 

The time when she slept all the time, and anywhere.  Ooooo such wonderful days!  Don't get me wrong, Olivia has been a great sleeper, but there's nothing like a sleepy baby in your arms.  She loves being nice and warm, wrapped all tightly in her blankets (see the "burrito" picture of her above ... that's Jack's handiwork).  Side note: I found these adorable butterflies for Olivia's room.  I love her room.  Probably my favorite room in the house.  :)

2 months old

 

Around 2 months old is when Olivia discovered her thumb.  They've been inseparable ever since.  Right around this time is when Seth really seemed to accept the fact that she's here to stay.  He started wanting to help out more and more ... changing diapers, feeding her, holding her.  He accepted it, and despised it at the same time.  Month two and three were rather difficult in the jealousy department with him.  Olivia got her first cold around this time (so sad!).  The whole family got the same cold, so it was an icky month for us all.  We also graduated her from a bassinet in our room to her crib in her room.  She handled the transition rather well!  I was impressed.  

3 months old

 

 

Christmas was so sweet this year.  Boy presents and girl presents.  Fluffy little Christmas dresses.  4 Christmas stockings.  Fun.  She's obviously too little to remember anything, but we had a good time with both sides of the family.  Around 3 months of age she started scooting herself around like crazy.  I'd put her in the middle of her play mat and within minutes she'd be somewhere else ... on her back and on her belly.  That girl can move!  She's always been so strong. 

4 months old

Olivia is 4 months already.  She's grown SO MUCH!  She's now playing with toys, chewing her hands/fingers/anything she can get her hands on, drooling a river, and making the cutest squeals all the time.  I even caught her sucking on the exact same fingers that I used to suck as a child (see the picture above). She rolled over for the first time last week too.  Oh dear ... my baby isn't a baby anymore!  She LOVES to watch her brother play and make boy noises and he's so good about turning on her battery-powered toys for her.  Probably 90% of the time we call her "Sister" instead of her name or any other nickname.  I just brought her in for her 4-month check up and she was so much fun!  She must have loved the one-on-one time with Mama.  She was all smiles and giggles for the nurses and doctor.  She's between 50-75th percentile in weight (13 lbs., 11oz.) and 95th percentile in height (26").  She is so curious ... just like her brother.  I have gotten to the point that I have to feed her in her room all the time because the littlest sound or noise distracts her to the point that she doesn't want to eat anymore.  She just has to know what's going on and wants to be a part of it.

So here's to trying to be more consistent in my tracking of both her and Seth (he's done a lot of changing too!) ...

olivia's birth story

On the morning of September 19^th I went in for a prenatal check-up and to see the progress of any dilation. I now weigh officially 156 lbs. up from my pre-pregnancy weight of 121 lbs. To my surprise I was already 3-4 cm dilated and 80% effaced! Two days before my due date and had yet to feel any consistent contractions or labor pains. After the appointment Jack, Seth and I made our way down to the fountain since Seth was such a good boy in the doctor’s office. While there, Jack and I were discussing that we thought it would be another week before she would come since Seth was 6 days late (secretly I thought it would be earlier but didn’t want to get my hopes up). Lin, our midwife, encouraged us to take some maternity photos just to remember this time, so when my friend Jackie came over to the house that morning to spend time with us I asked her to take some pictures of my belly. The rest of the day was very peaceful at home with me and Seth. We were both very mellow and spent a large amount of the afternoon cuddling and watching “Curious George.” Jack came home, we had dinner, put Seth down and watched some TV and by 9:45 when the show was over I noticed contractions coming but didn’t think too much of them at first because I had Braxton-Hicks contractions for many weeks leading up to this point. I didn’t say anything at first to Jack but was watching the clock and noticed they were the most consistent I have had so far. I mentioned it to Jack and decided to monitor them for the next half hour before calling my Mom. It only took 15 minutes for me to realize that this was it! I called my Mom and told her to start getting ready to come. I went to the bathroom and noticed a little bloody show and decided to also call Jackie who would stay at the house with Seth. I told her on the phone that it was a good idea we took those maternity photos today because this will be the last day I would be pregnant. She said she was on her way as well. 

Over the next couple of hours the contractions were coming but remained very erratic … not the smooth, predictable labor I experienced with Seth. I tried to rest while we were waiting for my Mom to come and the contractions were light enough where I did dose off a few times. Jack was too excited to sleep and decided to get a last minute meal in before we headed off to the hospital. My mom made it here in record time around 12:30am, and while Jackie was asleep on the couch, my Mom, Jack and I played a few games of Rummy, monitored contractions on Jack’s phone, and got remaining things together. I had moments of nausea but didn’t throw up (like I did with Seth's labor) and snacked on a few Ritz crackers as the contractions came closer together and stronger. Before I knew it I had the chills and bundled up in multiple sweatshirts, pants and socks and could no longer talk through my contractions. They were 4 minutes apart lasting for a minute each. At 1:30am we said goodbye to Jackie and hopped in the car and headed toward El Camino Hospital in Los Gatos. The freeway was completely open and we got there close to 2am. Since it was the middle of the night we had to go through the Emergency entrance. They had a wheelchair waiting for me and brought me straight to the Labor and Delivery wing. As we were turning into the room I would labor in I looked across to the nurses’ station and saw Bethany Monte, the midwife who delivered Seth! She is now a labor and delivery nurse at this particular hospital, and after seeing my name on the list requested to be my nurse for Olivia’s delivery. Praise God! (She’s a Christian as well!) She had me get into a hospital gown and I sat down on the bed so she could check my vitals. If there’s one thing I learned from my first labor with Seth it’s the importance of keeping calm and relaxed through contractions. I was trying my best to do so this time around as well. Shortly after, Lin came in and checked to see how far I was dilated.  My mom told me later that she and Jack were in the corner of the room when Jack leaned over to her and said, “What do you think she’ll be at now? I predict 6cm.  My mom guessed 7cm.  Lin announced I was dilated to 8cm and we were all very surprised. I asked her to break my water for me to “get the show on the road!” I was ready to meet my daughter! I don’t remember what it felt like to have my water broken with Seth but this time it was actually a relief. Within a minute the contractions became much more intense. I asked if we had enough time to do water therapy in the bathtub (that’s where I spent the majority of my labor with Seth and it helped tremendously). Lin said we didn’t have enough time to go in the bathtub but we could go in the shower. For some reason I didn’t want to and I already had the urge to push. I thought I must be crazy since we just got there and I still had 2cm to go but after a few contractions that went by and still having the urge to push, I asked Lin if it’s normal. It felt like I had to go poo immediately! Both Lin and Bethany replied, “Yes” and if I feel the urge to go ahead and gently push, but I was only at 8cm so I didn’t think I could. Lin told me you could go from 8 to 10cm in a matter of minutes and that I might just be ready. Before I knew it the gentle pushes turned into to hardcore pushing-my-baby-out pushes, and Jack and my Mom were on either side of me holding my hands and legs. I remember what a relief it was to push and that I didn’t want to stop. I remember Jack saying, “I need to take my ring off!"  What I didn't remember, but my mom and Jack told me later was that Lin instructed Jack to go into the bathroom and wash his hands immediately and very quickly because the baby was coming and she wanted to give him the chance to help pull her out.  I kept hearing my Mom encourage me to stay calm and push hard. Then I felt Lin grab my hand and put it where Olivia’s head was coming out. It was slimy but amazing! I jerked my hand back to support my leg because I just wanted to keep pushing. A few more pushes and I could feel her coming right out.  Lin was telling Jack, in the meantime, where to position himself so he could help pull Olivia out. At 3:05am our precious bundle of joy arrived, weighing 7lbs., 13 oz. and 19 inches long. She even had my red hair! Then the ugly cry started.  You know - the cry where you don't care what you sound like or how distorted your face looks - yeah, that one.  I was just so in awe of my little girl!  I remember Lin lying Olivia on my tummy and just being amazed at how quick of a labor and, honestly, minimal the pain was. As Lin and the nurses cleaned me and Olivia up, I watched her take her first breaths and kept telling Jack how much I loved him. Jack cut the umbilical cord, then it was time to deliver the placenta. One push and it came out, along with a huge gush of blood over the side in which both my mom and Jack had to jump out of the way to avoid. My mom left shortly after to go home and relieve Jackie and to get a few hours of sleep before care-taker duties began.

I still felt great at this time, and Olivia was doing equally as well. While we started our first nursing period, Bethany started pushing on my abdomen to cleanse out the rest of the blood out of my uterus (my absolute least favorite part of the whole labor and delivery process … something I remember very vividly from my labor with Seth). It was then that things started going downhill. The amount of blood and blood clots coming out of my body was way more than normal. I had slightly the same issue with Seth, but they gave me one shot of Pitocin in my leg and it caused my uterus to contract back to normal and control the bleeding. Well, they gave me the shot of Pitocin this time, but it had absolutely no effect on me. Every 20 minutes Bethany was coming in, pushing on my abdomen (ugh!), and still a huge amount of blood and clotting kept coming out. After the shot of Pitocin didn't work, they gave me a different shot (I think it was Methergin), which works differently, but should have the same result of causing the uterus to contract and control the bleeding. After more and more time and still more and more excessive bleeding after more and more painful pushing on my abdomen, neither drug was working. I was officially hemorrhaging. 

Basically, there were two reasons why this could be happening: 1) Because my labor was so short, my uterus had been working extra hard and was taking longer than normal to contract. It was, simply put, tired. It needed longer time than usual to contract back and control the bleeding.  But in the meantime, my body was still losing all of this blood, which needed to be controlled.  Or, 2) A piece of the placenta could still be inside my uterus and signaling to my brain that the baby was still inside and still needs the blood. Bethany also said that hemorrhaging is most common among red heads (interesting!). 

Then she inserted a catheter because sometimes when the bladder is too full, it prohibits the uterus from contracting. Lin came in and did a manual check with her hand to see if there was any placenta that had been left behind inside my uterus. She found nothing. They called in the OB-GYN on duty, Dr. Soliman, to discuss what to do next. Bethany went through the next steps of what they would try to do to control it and it wasn’t looking very good. Because I had already lost so much blood and was continuing to lose blood, they decided to put in an IV to hydrate me as well as a drip of Pitocin so it was constantly running through my system. At this time, I was still feeling okay. I guess that’s why I didn’t understand why they were making such a big deal out of this … I had just had a baby, shouldn’t I be bleeding??? I still felt great! But when more time past and with every push of my abdomen more and more and more blood kept coming, then I realized that something really was wrong and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Bethany came in with the doctor and discussed with me and Jack what would happen next. Since the bleeding was still excessively heavy, and hours had passed since her birth (I can’t quite remember the exact time) and my body had not responded to either of the shots or the drip of Pitocin, that they needed to go inside and do a thorough exam and cleaning of my uterus to make sure there was no placenta left inside. Everyone left the room to get what they needed for the procedure, leaving just Jack and I in the room. Then I broke down and started crying. Why was this happening??? I could tell that Jack was trying so hard to stay strong, but I could see the tears welling up inside his eyes too. As Dr. Soliman began the procedure, Bethany was on one side, holding my hand, and Lin was on my other side, holding my other hand and Jack was up near my head comforting me. It was incredibly uncomfortable and painful. After only about 10 minutes into the procedure, they paused because it was obvious I was in so much pain. I hadn’t had an epidural or any other pain medications during the labor, so I was feeling every single thing. I okay’d a pain killer and Bethany put it into my IV. Whoa. That drug was strong! I remember starting to feel a little floaty and before I knew it, I could hear voices and noises, but couldn’t feel a thing. I was in a deep sleep. When I started coming to, I could hear that the procedure was ended and things were looking up. Jack was right by my side when I opened my eyes and he told me that they didn’t find anything inside, but cleaned me up and it seemed like the bleeding was slowing. When this all started, Jack had called and texted our parents and close friends from church to pray for me, so it didn’t amaze us when the doctor said, after completing the procedure, “There is no medical reason for why the bleeding has slowed. Nothing short of a miracle.” PRAISE THE LORD.  SERIOUSLY. Though the procedure went well, the bleeding was still heavier than normal. They kept me in the labor and delivery room all day to monitor me, but over the course of the day, my bleeding slowed to a level they were comfortable with and eventually moved me into the postpartum wing around 8pm that night. 

During that day, I finally started feeling the effects of losing so much blood. I felt excessively thirsty, tired and flushed pretty much the whole day and had chills that would shake my body uncontrollably at times. Eventually though, I was back on track and they allowed me to discharge on the normal day I would have even if nothing had happened. Praise the Lord! It’s still going to be a long road to recovery (I need to lay extremely low for the next 4 weeks), but God is good and the ultimate Physician. Already one week at home, I am finding it really difficult just to walk from room to room, but also feeling better each day. Praise the Lord for great friends and family who have been supporting us and providing for us. 

Olivia has been a great baby.  During the whole time in the hospital when I was going through so much, she just slept.  She'd wake up to feed - latched on right away - and would go right back to sleep.  It's been that way the majority of the time at home too.  It's so wonderful how our God provides even in the simplest of ways.  I love Olivia Rose.  I love the family God has given me, and feel so undeserving.  I am so excited to see how God uses our family over the years and to see how both Seth and Olivia grow into people that love and serve our GREAT GOD.